2 am ponderings

I watched a trailer for a show tonight – one character said something along the lines of wanting to be alone with her thoughts in a secluded place.

I guess I would like that, too. However, I am sure if my crackberry is within reach, I would just end up texting someone or tweeting at someone. Does solitude mean nothing to me anymore?

I like time to myself but I also love bouncing my ideas and thoughts off of other people.

Solitude. Hummm. Maybe in May, when my parents go away, I will house sit. Or maybe I will be brave like Grandma always taught me to be and dream big. Maybe by May, everything will be different. Only time will tell.

Disappointments

Applying for fellowships is no fun. My heart breaks a little with every rejection. As if anticipating the most recent one, I began re-reading Eveless Eden, which to me is a therapy of sorts.

It makes me ache but it also keeps me inspired … And sometimes amused:

“I’ve traveled with a lot of fellow hacks through throngs in many places and I’m the only one I know who always stops. I’ve seen a lot of hacks give things away when they’re surrounded – money, candy and (yes!) condoms – which keeps the throng-biz thriving. I never give the throng-ees anything except my outstretched hand, a chance to touch me, and the chance for me to touch them, Journalist in Jesus mode.”

Babysitting

Usually when people think of babysitting, they think of an extra income. I think of fun adventures, lego, hot chocolates and mine craft.

Today, I only made half of what I should because Oscarific and I ventured out and blew the other half on dinner and desserts. He is terrific and can hold his own (even if slightly awkwardly) in a conversation with strangers. In fact, tonight he charmed the couple sitting next to us into a conversation. It was delightful.

So when I hear babysitting next, I will once again think of hot chocolates, desserts and good times. Bring on the tug of wars over changing into pajamas, the actual bed time and what we should watch on TV. Ultimately, it’s all worth it.

When it rains, it pours and floods

At least that’s how it feels.

A year ago, I was so busy with the search for my inner self and my dreams that I avoided the real world. I wanted to be reminded of why I wanted to write and why I believed politics were important.

This year, I am drowning in the real world. I use coffee and my crackberry as people use lifelines. But I am writing – for work, for me … And to friends. I have slowly but surely settled into the habit of sitting down and writing letters to my friends who left this continent for their own search for their inner self and their dreams.

And I am drowning in laughter – even as I wish it would rain sleep that I could drown in, I enjoy being up and about and laughing my way through life.

So, I say, let it pour and flood in 2012.

Gray hair

After number of street people tried to sell me haircut packages, I finally gave in and made an appointment at the Aveda Institute.

While my lovely hairstylist worked on my hair, I made googly eyes across the room at a guy getting a haircut and listened in on the conversation between the girl next to me and her hairstylist. The girl – all of 25 years old- was recalling her first gray hair.

As long as I remember, I have wanted to be to 30 years old. It’s my goal age … I think I will be better defined as a person by then. As this better defined person, I will be ready to take on life.

Gray hair and wrinkles don’t scare me. They are earned and so with each gray hair and each wrinkle, I will know I have lived a little more.

So, Life, bring it. We have few more years till 30 and I will take everything you throw at me.

Jana’s life on weekends

Here are few of the things that I love to do on a weekend:

1. Walk around wearing holiday themed boxers (Valentine’s day, Halloween, Christmas) and my Hello-Kitty jersey.

2. Improvise and add “unique” ingredients to my scrambled eggs. (This is only taking place this month, as David with whom I have breakfast on weekends is away in Bolivia.)

3. Sprawl on my couch (which is shorter than me, so my legs always hang over one of its ends) and watch West Wing while at the same time attempt to read a trashy romance novel (something I won’t admit to at work).

4. I refuse to wear socks … I must be free to wiggle my toes. I also like to swing my legs as they hang off of the couch.

5. I love to make a big pot of coffee and chill it and then drink iced coffee the whole weekend.

6. I must drink the coffee out of my Wizard of Oz pint glasses using my swirly blue straw. Drinking with straw makes everything so much better.

I wish I was more productive on weekends. In fact, watching West Wing makes me wish I was more productive every day. I want to have to go to work on a Sunday. I want to make a difference.

So today, after I am done with my adventures in Manhattan, I will come back and re-evaluate my list. I need a plan- maybe a 12 to 18 months long strategic plan. Yes, that’s what I will do.

Trip to Philly: Airing my brain out

I am in Philly. Last time, I went away for a conference was for CPAC. It was when I was just starting to get back into my “journalist” mindset and needed to remind myself of all the excitement that came with covering such high energy political events.

CPAC served its purpose. This trip is helping me air out my brain a little … I needed to get away from NY and I get to do some work by going to the conference tomorrow. After I jumped around on my hotel bed (I always do that after checking in) and admiring the view of City Hall from my room, I decided to go for a walk.

This is not my first time in Philly and I always do a lap around the City Hall. As I rounded City Hall, I came upon Occupy Philadelphia.

Tents at Occupy Philadelphia in front of Philly City Hall.

It was kind of interesting to walk around their protest after having visited the one in New York. New York’s protest is a little intense. There is always a lot of noise. Philadelphia’s, on another hand, seemed really quiet and calm. Few people sat outside their tents and lectured, but otherwise it seemed really serene.

Public Sector Collective Bargaining plaque at the edge of Occupy Philadelphia.

After I walked my lap, I went to grab dinner as I originally planned and eavesdropped on local conversations about Occupy Philadelphia. I was the only person eating/drinking by myself and my poor underage waitress was a little caught off guard by that. I wanted to say, “It’s ok, little one. I like being alone with my thoughts.”

Anyways, I got back into my hotel room and started to check off some things from my to do list while watching Conan.

Conan mentioned Occupy Wall Street as well as Quidditch World Cup to which he referred to as Occupy Virginity. I went to Quidditch World Cup, and while yes it is uber nerdy, these kids are very athletic. I am not so sure about the virginity part of the equation.

I will leave you tonight with this photo of people running around with brooms between their legs.

High school teams face off at Quidditch World Cup.